I’ve always stated that the war between the sexes ought to be a grand food fight.  That way, it’s not only more fun, but you can lick the food off each other during and after the battle.

I had a conversation a couple nights ago that was started by the two of us relaxing on the couch with the movie “Transformers” on.  The two young leads in the movie are played by Shia Lebouf and Megan Fox.  It’s a Hollywood standard to pair an average-looking man with a woman who is a cookie-cutter model.  Normally, I really don’t care, but that night, something bugged me about it.

I casually mentioned that it would be nice to see more movies where you see the two leads comprised of an “average” looking woman with a young hot stud that could put Brad Pitt to shame.  Dear Husband didn’t argue, but responded that he doesn’t watch movies to see the pairings…..that’s a chick thing.

*chuckles*

The next time we turned on boob tube, I got my wish – “Dirty Dancing” with Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey.  Victory at last!  Or is it?

Aaahhhh, it could be a hormonal moment I was having, where I’ve been known to break out in tears over pancakes.  Or it could have been a moment of clarity of where our society is still behind when it comes to portraying women equally as subjective beings with our own desires, goals, and skills – and not just pretty little cheerleaders for the leading man.

The conversation kicked up again when I asked Dear Husband if a woman in this day and age could achieve the same freedom, status, money, and notoriety as Hugh Hefner.  Part Thalia’s own fantasy, and part social pontificating, I wanted to get his view on the situation.  Mr. Hefner freely has multitudes of young (and I mean YOUNG) women in bed with him, and they all agree to the situation that he has set up.  Could a woman here in the states – or anywhere around the world – have the same opportunity?

“No,” says Dear Husband.  “She’d be looked at as a slut.”

FUCK!!!!!

Actually, I already knew the answer.  I just wanted to hear him say it, although he did follow it up with some musings that it SHOULDN’T be this way.  A woman ought to have the same opportunities and freedoms as a man.

We see this modelled still to this day in our culture…..a man can get around and be cheered on by his buddies.  But once a woman gets around, gossip ensues about her in less than glowing terms from men AND women.  A loose woman can’t be trusted.  She’s either incapable of commitment or fidelity, or she likely will have STD’s, or she’s not going to be a good mother to your 700 future children, or what.  

Now, women will certainly gossip about the man who gets around.  But Dear Husband admits freely that there’s a subtle code of ethics in men’s circles not to denigrate a man-whore’s decisions publicly.  Now, is this how it should be across the board for Whores of all genders and orientations?  Hmmmm…….

I find this view so incredibly fascinating that it bears further investigation.  I haven’t come to any conclusion, and Buddha knows that I doubt I’ll get to one soon.  But these lively conversations I’m having with Dear Husband is allowing me to probe the mind of a man who is married to a woman who not only has gotten around, but is STILL getting around. 

I’m going to have to chew on one of the last things he concluded – “Honey, the way I see it, males and females have different ways of approaching mating.  It sounds primitive, but I’ve seen it this way more often than not.  Males are hunters, and females are seducers…..not 100% of the time, but enough to notice a trend.”

And before I could ask him what that had to do with today’s cultural conditioning of woman’s sexual status and acceptance, Dear Husband practically passed out after talking so much.  For a mostly quiet man, he nearly doubled his daily quota with that one conversation.