It’s here, don’t worry. It never went away – it just transformed, a bit.
Holy hell, it’s been a while since I posted and mused and rambled on and on. A few updates: work has been kind to me. VERY kind to me, as a matter of fact. I went from being unemployed and desperate to working so much I have to manage my time in 15 minute increments. Thalia has been partnering with a few different entrepreneurs with various business opportunities and has her hand in a share of the pie. Gone corporate? Never thought I’d see that day coming, but seems like I’m on that path. It’ll be interesting to see if I spiral into patterns of sociopathic tendencies.
Next: My health has been up and down, either doing really well or crashing into misery and an ER visit for excessive bleeding. Looking back, it seems as if nothing much has changed, and I’m in the midst of chaos yet again. Oh well…..I guess I could accept that I’m on the Roller Coaster Ride of Life rather than the Merry Go Round of Life. Reminds me of the grandma character from the movie “Parenthood” (wonderful movie by the way). “I like the roller coaster better. You get more out of it.”
And lastly, our oldest, who is 18 and ready to go off into the Army in two days, has a child now. Thalia is a grandmother, and I can’t tell you how absolutely COOL that is. Looking at children and aging and sex now is like letting go of even more self-imposed burdens when I look into my grandson’s eyes. I like hugging our son, and his girlfriend, whenever they worry and fret and fight over what to do with the baby in order to “help him hit his developmental stages.” Ahhhhh……to be young again? Never. I like being older, wiser, and with more income and insurance.
And that brings us to sex. It continues to deepen with me in it’s meanings, it’s mysteries, and it’s erogenous zones. For instance, I never really cared if anyone kissed or smelled my hair before, but now it’s like electricity that runs through me. I’ve become ever more sensitive to touch, to scents, to visuals, and to sounds. But being turned on now rarely just affects my clit anymore. My entire being radiates, pulses, and becomes soft and inviting. I am become Clitoris.
I think also I am returning because, to be perfectly honest, I miss writing about my experiences and my thoughts. I miss the outlet and the ways that I at times awkwardly convey my journey. I prefer moving to writing because I’m better at it, but I could always use the practice.
