I’m sitting here so proud of my daughter, my youngest born, my fellow sisterfriend-to-be…..not because she just performed in The Nutcracker for the first time, but that she did it all with a 102 degree fever, and that she insisted on it.

I realize this looks rather suspiscious.  We have a mother here who dances professionally, who is deeply involved in her daughter’s life (most with homeschooling her), and who doesn’t mince words with anyone.  At first glance, I look much like the Type-A Stage Moms that you see who fuss over their daughters’ costumes and hair, and tell them to stop their whining and crying and to go out and win.  But I’ll go ahead and tell my story and leave it up to you to decide whether or not I fit the mold.

A few weeks ago, I got a phone call from my colleague that I work with at our local ballet conservatory.  She and I develop dance programs together on site as well as out of district.  For the last couple of years, we’ve been in close contact with each other, and we’ve developed a very good mentor/protege relationship.  I’ve learned a lot from her about show business, and locally, she is THE person to go to when it comes to dance.  This year marks the 25th year that her conservatory has staged The Nutcracker along with the local philharmonic orchestra, and we’ve also welcomed members of New York’s ABT to perform in various roles (like the Sugar Plum Fairy, for instance).

All this time, my daughter has known that I’ve danced, taught, choreographed, and directed shows professionally.  She’s shown a little interest in dancing, but mostly her talents and interests have been more with the graphic and visual arts, more so than performance.  Hence the reason for my desire to homeschool her.  I’ve wished for her to fully explore her talent in sculpting, sketching, and painting.  So far so good.

Segue back to the phone call I receive from my colleague.  She needs a dancer ASAP to fill in for the role of the Teddy Bear in Clara’s dream sequence, and she asks me if my daughter would be willing to do it.  I, of course, love the idea, but I wanted to see if the kiddo would be willing to go on stage in front of hundreds of people.  I ask her if she would like to, and surprisingly, she jumped at it. 

Personally, I thought it was only because she’d be the cute little Teddy Bear.  She eventually proved me wrong.

So, she went to rehearsals at the studio with her new leotard and pink tights on and her hair pinned back like a proper ballerina should.  And for the first time in my entire life, I was sitting outside of the studio reading a book with the other parents.  I wasn’t teaching.  I wasn’t dancing.  No…….I was the chauffeur, and that was it.

Now, granted, my child has always been rather a go-getter.  She’s taken cooking classes, painting classes, gymnastics, etc.  But always, she’s liked getting my attention when she can to show off or to find some way to connect, but this time was different.  She wanted me to be much more distant from her, and that spoke volumes to me.  I would sit there reading my book, and thinking to myself, “I think my little girl is finally coming into her own now.”  Part proud, part nostalgic of when she’d nurse at my breast……..it was a little hard for me to concentrate on my book in front of me.  LOL

When it came time for me to drop her off at the theatre this past weekend for the final dress rehearsal with the orchestra, she went off without so much a goodbye. And I was ready for it.  But when I came to pick her up for the couple of hours before she’d have her call at 6:00 for hair and make-up and warm-ups……she’d mentioned that she felt a little sick.  I thought it was just nerves, and I mentioned to her that every performer worth her salt is going to feel the butterflies before a show.  I brought her home to get her something to eat, get her freshened up, and drove her back to drop her off at the stage door.

A few hours later, I picked her up, with me all smiles and feeling proud of her getting through her first official ballet, and she approached me with flushed cheeks and dark circles under her eyes.

“Mom, I’m sick.”

I took her home, got her out of her dance clothes, and discovered she had a temperature of 102 degrees (F).  I gave her some medicine so that she could get some sleep, and really felt for the poor kiddo then.  I should know – I’ve performed sick as a dog, with sprained ankles, with a concussion, with toenails ripped off and bleeding everywhere (allright, that’s another story that we can save for later). 

Later on that night, very early in the morning, I woke up to hear her vomiting in the bathroom.  I came to her when she was crawling back to bed – no tears, no fretting – and I sat down with a washrag to her cheek and temple.  Our conversation then is something I don’t think I’ll ever forget:

Me:  Are you OK?

Her:  Mom, is my fever going to go away by tomorrow?

Me:  I don’t know, sweetheart.  Do you still want to perform?

Her:  Yes.  I’m not going to miss it.

(pauses)

Me:  Are you sure?  You’re not obligated in any way.  There’s no contract, there’s no money in this.  And there’ll be other performances if you want to just relax and get better.

Her:  (exasperated) Mom!  I’m doing this tomorrow, both performances.  I do NOT want to miss this.

And with that, she rolled over and turned away from me. 

She woke up the next morning, still feverish.  The dark circles hadn’t gone away, but that never deterred her.  She still asked me to help her with her hair.  She still asked me how to put on eyeliner and mascara.  She joked that she didn’t need blush since her cheeks were so flushed.  This was not a needy little girl.  This was a young woman on a mission, and I could hardly believe my eyes just how quickly it happened.

I dropped her off, wished her luck (she doesn’t like it when people say “Break a leg”, but she’ll understand some day), and went to meet my mother and grandmother at our house.  All of us were going to see the show together, and upon hearing the news that I’d allowed their granddaughter to perform with a fever, I got the third degree (LOL).  It’s understandable, though, only I saw the young woman’s determination in her eyes.  Perhaps they’ll see it too on stage, but I was wondering how she’d fare.

The lights went down, and the sounds of Tchaikovsy filled the theatre.  Soon enough, Clara went to sleep, and the dream sequence began.  Our little girl was about to make her entrance.  My heart began to race…….did I do the right thing?  Did I push her in any way?  Was I too permissive?  I sat there clutching the bouquet of flowers in my lap with a worried smile, ready to jump through the crowds and onto the stage if my little girl would faint or fall over from her sickness.

Instead, we all saw her make her entrance, and she looked amazing!  She twirled and leaped and stayed together with the trio of dancers that joined her.  She had a tiny duet with Clara, and then she ran off the stage without a hitch.  The three of us in the audience oohed and aaahed, and we all said that she looked like she felt a lot better.  I thought that maybe it was going to be OK after all.

It was a brilliant ballet, even though I’d seen it many times before.  I love this show.  We went to the lobby afterwards eager to see my daughter before she’d go on to do the final performance.

She appeared looking ragged, tired, with those same dark circles again.  My heart dropped.  All I wanted to do was to rush over to her and to pick her up in my arms.  I walked over to her, and she smiled at the flowers.  I kissed her forehead, and she was burning up.  At that moment, all I could do was ask, “Are you OK?”

She replied, “I’ll be all right.  I’m going to get a short nap on the couches in the green room.”

I paused.

“Don’t worry, mommy.”

And with that, she went over to the grandparents, who were doting all over her, fussing over her, telling her how they coudn’t believe she was sick, and that she really needs to be at home in bed.  I was suddenly given back the flowers, and I was requested to put them in some water, and the next thing I knew, my daughter went back to the green room to ready herself for the finale.

We all went back home.  My mind was quiet, calm, and actually very serene.  I’ve seen our other children see the dawn of adulthood before, but this was different.  This was my baby girl.  And I felt a kinship with my own mother that I’d never felt before, after hearing her exclaim the same things whenever I came through with a certain feistyness or an accomplishment that made her heart sing with pride.

That night, I went to pick her up at the stage door.  She came out, and she looked centered, poised, confident.  She climbed into the car without a word, and I asked her if she was up to getting a treat.  She said that she was too sick to go out for sweets, and that she just wanted to get home and go to sleep.  So we drove in silence the rest of the way, with her head resting on the cool window next to her.  Her breathing was still shallow, but she was happy.

The next morning, her fever was gone, and her color was back again.  Monday was a day where I saw the little girl pop out as usual, jumping around in her room, singing to herself, and playing with her dolls.  And yet, I felt like the luckiest woman alive.

I’ve rarely felt this proud.

A forum that I frequent has welcomed a member that is making some pretty big waves, and she’s not getting a whole lot of popularity votes, either.  She is arguing (passionately but poorly) that contraception has been the bane of our current American culture, and that if only we were to see sex as “how it was designed” – which is within a church-sanctioned heterosexual marriage purposefully for the act of procreation – we wouldn’t be in the shithole we are today. 

Somebody please go and pinch her nose for me.  I’m still in recovery right now.  ;-D

What bugs me the most about arguments like this is that the intention of returning sex and sexuality to a procreative act that is seen as more sacred backfires horribly.  You reduce sex to a mechanistic function and actually DE-sacralize sex into a baby-making operation.  I have no doubts that the people who make these arguments truly believe that placing arbitrary boundaries on sex down to our pensises and vaginas will help us, but they are profoundly ignorant that sex starts in the mind, not between the legs. 

And besides, if we really want to be technically correct here, procreation isn’t really about penises and vaginas, it’s about a union between a sperm and an egg.  Our external reproductive organs are multi-functional, thank you very much.

No, what really gets me is the notion that if you take away by threats of physical or psycho-social punishment contraception, pre-marital sex, extra-martial sex, masturbation, erotic art and literature, pornography, etc.  What is to stop us from demanding women have cliterodectomies?  Millions of girls around the world are subject to that every year, and WE not long ago practiced the same damned thing.  Women have a clitoris, which has but one purpose – sexual ecstasy.  Not procreation.  Soooooooo, explain that ya mindless-establishment pinheads.

Why have a menses cyle?  Why not just devolve back into mammals that only have estrus cycles where we were in heat for a period of time – we released phermones that the males picked up on, mounted us, and we reproduced.  Damn, we were efficient back then, weren’t we?  [/sarcasm]

After I pinch this woman’s nose (wait, whoops, you pinch her nose for me), I want to point her toward the possibility that our menses cycle, the development of the clitoris, and the fact that we can have frontal-facing sex as well as the development of subcutaneous fat in our breast tissue (which helped our curves become even more aesthetically pleasing)………..all this physiologically implies that sex is here MORE for pleasure than it is for procreation.  In fact,  ovulation provides such a small window during our cycle that a successful union between a sperm and an egg is actually pretty slim. 

I can’t argue this point enough, y’all.  Sex and sexuality is the culmination, practice, study, and exploration into the art of pleasure and ecstasy.  It is an opportunity for us as a species to realize what is our true Buddha nature – the one of bliss and interconnectedness.  To reduce sex into that baby-making mechanistic function only serves to protect the sad isolated idea that is the nuclear family.  No grandmama or paw-paw, aunts, uncles, or cousins to help around the house or provide income, love, structure, and guidance.  Hell, it’s horrific not having our elders so near us when we need them the most……….

But I digress.  I do that when getting on preliminary rants and my thoughts aren’t completely cogent quite yet.

OK, bottom line, blissful orgasmic ecstasy is the law.  It is our true nature.  THIS is sacred, and it is what makes us supremely humane.  To nurture ourselves and others into this state of being is what we ought to elevate to, not to how many babies we can pop out while only two adults are around to welcome the new life into the world.  And screw the idea that menopause is a death sentence for women’s sex lives because she isn’t “fertile” anymore (BTW, a hearty “fuck you” not only goes out to all the religious institutions that suggest that, but a hearty “fuck you” also goes out to evolutionary scientists who suggest that as well)………on the contrary, my dear friend, give me a sexually-liberated silver-haired woman, and I’ll show you Wisdom that is red-hot and that can perhaps show us all how to really live.

I’m done rambling for now.  I need to go take a relaxing bath after that rant.

You just can’t ever NOT love Gregory Hines.  R.I.P., my love…….

Lest you think that Sacred Whores are limited to the beauty sirens that we see or hear about with the way they work their bodies, I heartily commend all the Sacred Whores in history that knew (and know today) how to bedevil the masses with their minds as well.

To list just a few:  Veronica Franco, Ninon de Lenclos, Emilie du Chatelet, and Germaine du Stael…….not to mention Marie Curie, the only person ever to win TWO Nobel prizes (in Physics and in Chemistry).

I dare anyone to challenge the notion that a man can truly be intimidated by a woman of immense intelligence.  In fact, I think what we saw is the reaction of being awestruck by women who aren’t afraid of exploring new dimensions in the sciences and technology.  Personally, I think the world craves more women who speak up and act out.  The woman’s mind is in too many regions of the world an  untapped resource of ideas and solutions.

I’ve been in and out of the hospital, and everything looks OK, but I’m just quite sick.  So, that explains my short absence.

The cool thing was that I had a super hot guy help to care for me down in the nuclear medicine department where the magnetic imaging took place.  And lest you wonder, you bet your sweet fanny that Thalia enjoyed every second of that.

But, I’d rather feel better than to go back just to see him.  LOL

Thanks for your thoughts and for everyone who is still visiting the site!  Much love and kisses to you!!

For an amazing transformative experience…….I encourage anyone to download the Sanghata Sutra and to listen to it anytime, anywhere. 

See here:  http://www.sanghatasutra.net/index.html

Wonderful, wonderful stuff.

I realize that if my friends were to read this right now, they’re upchucking a little bit in their mouths.  Most of the folks I talk to know my harsh criticism of her and her policies, but I am offering her a kind of leniency that I think she deserves.  As much as I believe her to be a theocratic fascist, I believe the court of public opinion against her has been focusing on all the wrong issues.  If we don’t, we may very well see a backlash against the media that could result in a Sarah Palin Presidential administration in January 2013. 

I disagree with her notion that her stance in government will be more hands-off, and that she sides with Joe Six Pack more often than not.  From what I have seen, she sides with Joe Pro-Life Evangelistic Christian more often than not, and it is precisely why I find her position so reprehensible.  In her mind, and unfortunately in quite a few minds around the country, Joe Pro-Life Evangelistic Christian IS the norm, the guy next door, the small business owner on Main Street.  Palin panders to this mindset.  She fails to show that she considers representing the rights and liberties of anyone else who does not fit this mold.  I see it in her rhetoric and in her policies. 

I just don’t see her wardrobe as having this much relevence.  And it annoys me to see so many of her critics pounce on the Nieman Marcus bill and salivating the whole time.  I personally feel compelled to play the gender card here, suggesting that if Palin were a man, that we wouldn’t be discussing this as much.  But I assume that we’d be talking about something else instead……….(and I just remembered the $400 haircut that John Edwards got that the neo-cons jumped all over).

I think the RNC screwed up in it’s handling of Palin.  Of course she hadn’t been properly vetted, and this blunder continues to show it’s effect on the public view of the Republican party.   So, a part of me wishes to point the finger at her and suggest that she could have declined the nomination if she had any inclination that she could drag the McCain ticket down.  Another part of me wishes to point the finger equally at the RNC for screwing up another chance to solidify their conservative base.  As it is, we are now seeing the attrition rate skyrocket in conservatives away from McCain and toward Obama.  And, generally speaking, the criticism falls squarely on Palin’s shoulders.

Ugh.  OK, fine.  She’s not my type.  But come ON……there is a kind of disgust and spittle that is created whenever a new story appears about her and her ineptness in government and in the public eye.  Personally, it’s not worth it.  I can appreciate the media’s confrontation and wanting to get a story published to the American public, and the public deserves to know the information concerning our candidates.  What I don’t like is how these stories are stirring the pot of vitriol and hate.  We’ve seen this before from the other side, too, by hearing phrases like “pallin’ around with terrorists.”  And all this does is distract all of us from the central issues of her campaign and how her rhetoric does not add up, and especially how her platform will not offer the U.S. a government that actually works.  We recognized the hate immediately when the McCain campaign stirred a shitstorm against Obama and his association with Ayers.  Let’s not commit the same crime on a larger scale against Palin.

Obama saw a bump as a backlash against the hate machine from that time.  I don’t want to see a backlash of larger proportions against a larger hate machine from a larger demographic of the public.  Maintain the coverage to the issues – the ethics violations, the fact that she is against gay marriage,  wants ID taught alongside evolution in public school science classes (WTF?),  her stance on abortion, and her gross exaggerated assumption that she has foreign policy experience because of her state’s geographical location.  That obviously means that George W. Bush as governor was brilliant at foreign policy because of Texas and it’s close proximity to Mexico.  No?

So, lighten up, y’all.  She’s a poor choice.  We got that.  The RNC fucked up in vetting her before introducing her at their convention a couple months ago.  But let’s keep the anti-Palin rhetoric at a minimum when it comes to what is actually quite immaterial like her 17-year-old pregnant daughter, her choice to work so shortly after having a baby with Down Syndrome, and yes, even her wardrobe shopping spree.

I am much more concerned about the fact that she considers the war in Iraq a “task that is from God.”  This is much more sobering than spending $150,000 at Saks and possibly looking a little hypocritical.   Hmmmm, shall I bitch about a pair of shoes?  Or an end-times believer ready and willing to send the world into nuclear annihilation if Iran or North Korea starts acting uppity?

So today I turned 36.  I’m not ambivalent to announce my age, as it’s just being honest. 

However, I think it’s so important to meditate on how precious my human birth has been, how I’ve been so fortunate to have lived for this amount of time, how many humans have not lived this long, and how I’ve been so fortunate to have the mental and physical capacity to benefit others.  There are commentaries out there for how being born a human is like winning the ultimate cosmic lottery in Tibetan Buddhist cosmology, something along the lines that it is just as likely to be reborn a human as it is for a turtle to peek it’s head through a small ring in an entire ocean.  Personally, I think that analogy plays upon the delusional mind to think that we can forget about past karma……..I am reminded of how karma – good karma – ripens to allow us to benefit others. 

The gods in the heavenly realms are too indulged with perfect health and are given everything they have ever wished for.  The beings in the hell-realms are too frought with suffering and pain to have the peace of mind to benefit others.  Being born a HUMAN is what allows us to do good, to have opportunities in our minds to experience both sides of the spectrum of suffering and blissful happiness.   And to have a human rebirth where one has the clear opportunity to practice a moral and ethical life, and especially to have resources at one’s disposal to help others find happiness…….this is just so precious.

So, my feeling right now is such gratitude that I’m here, I’m alive, and I’m healthy enough to give - offer comforting words, reach my arms out to hug another, have money in my wallet to give to those in need, and a skill at stage performance to help others find their own personal aesthetic.  This is so, so, so precious.  This moment in time and in my spiritual walk.

Here’s to many more years of feeling this thankful and of maintaining an attitude of cherishing others and of service.

Dear Husband is on vacation.  Beware, y’all……we’re doing more de-cluttering.

And that is cool in an of itself.  I abhor clutter, and if it were up to me, I’d have a very simple stash of stuff, and only splurge on books.  I do go through my books every now and then and give what I don’t read anymore away.  But, when it comes to old clutter that we don’t need anymore, I’d rather sniff dog farts than find reasons to keep it all.

So right now, Dear Husband is thoroughly going through the laundry room where a good portion of our clutter lies.  He has let me direct him what to do with what things, and I am currently happily obliging by giving him his “honey-do” list. 

*sighs*  Thalia is quite pleased right now.  Methinks Dear Husband is getting some tonight.

With the U.S. election looming ever closer, I’d like any candidate to please consider laying out a plan on how to implement education reform.  Because, the last time I checked, our country is full of a bunch of dumbed-down minimalists who only want to score high on a test – and that high score is giving our kids a chance to squander student loans, grants, itty bitty scholarships, and his or her parents life savings into a free-for-all party at the dorm.  We have basic math being taught at at UNIVERSITY level?  WTF?

This is an alarming symptom of what our children are walking in – and it’s a pile of muck and shit that has increasingly grown from the ankles and up to our necks.  We are wallowing in the realization that one generation is going to  be less educated than it’s parent generation.  While we still have some well-established programs at our universities, more and more we see young adults from foreign lands enjoy higher education and less and less of our own American students making par with the pre-requisites for such programs.  As it stands, we are not investing wisely in our education of our future leaders, and it’s starting to look pretty grim at the moment.

So, for now, I’m hearing some talk of putting more money into an outdated and failed system, or it’s vouchers here and competition there, or it’s the rise of homeschooling by not only religious families but secular families as well.  My pointed question is, what are we doing NOW that will help to ensure that this generation of kids is not being fucked over any longer.  Because, essentially, that’s what we continue to do – we are not giving our kids the opportunity to receive a competitive education. 

Let’s look into how children can actually learn academics rather than learning how to be sheep and mindless worker bees.  For now, I will give this thought a rest, but I certainly wish that the candidates would lay out a serious plan – no matter what the state of the economy.  Lead the country out of this fiscal crisis, yes Mr. President-to-be, but please lead the country out of this education crisis as well.

Thank you.

Every now and then I am reminded of how samsara continues to mess with our heads – whether it’s from delusions of grandeur, of craving, and in this case how the U.S. can maintain discriminating against an entire demographic because of a fear of losing “traditional” values.  It’s a major sticking point with me and the upcoming elections.  I can expect the mindless diatribe from the McCain-Palin ticket that must include the phrase one-man-one-woman – but I am even more annoyed at the Obama-Biden ticket for the double-talk surrounding “civil unions.”  Sure, let’s give those nice folks in the GLBTQ community a bone and some scraps from the table of protections and benefits……..but please do NOT let those miscreants take OUR sacred term of “marriage” away from us.

I call bullshit.  We’ve been through this “separate but equal” party several times before in our nation’s short history, and it has never worked.  We had anti-miscengenation laws where specific races were banned from marrying whites until as recently as 1967 with Loving vs. Virginia.  We had laws where women were banned from voting or owning property or couldn’t get court protection from their own husbands in cases of domestic violence or marital rape.

Back then, “traditional” values were brought up as a smokescreen again and again, in the hopes that the public at large would be frightened enough to listen to this “separate but equal” crap.  At a certain point, people stood up for the rights of the disenfranchised, and had the courage to say enough is enough.  Women and minorities were never treated equally under the eyes of the government as long as the state maintained that it can define who gets what rights so as not to shake up the sensibilities of the status quo.  I am telling the government to back the hell off the GLBTQ community, and to open the doors to marriage rights and protections to every adult couple that so desires. 

One thing that I’ve mentioned before and that I still feel, is that as a practicing Buddhist, I see marriage as a social construct,  like defining a “race”, like educational philosophies and methods…..and it is not a sacrament.  While I respect the ecclesiastical courts their right to disagree with me, I do not respect their insistence that the government defines my marriage by their sacrament.  It is what this really boils down to, isn’t it?  Terms like “sacred” or “traditional” are thrown around in order to strike fear into people’s hearts that if you somehow redefine marriage to include those that aren’t mentioned by God as acceptable, then society will be ripped apart at the seams, and we’ll all go to hell in a handbasket.

Yah, I call bullshit again. 

Marriage HAS been redefined throughout history by the government again and again.  Think about issues surrounding polygamy, interracial marriages, defining the age of consent to prevent children from marrying,  women’s ability to own property within a marriage, common-law marriages, allowing “no-fault” divorces………..criminy, the list goes on and on.  And samsara continues to blind us with ignorance by attempting to paint gays and lesbians as people who aren’t us but something other.

Obama wishes to grant civil unions to gay and lesbian couples?  But doesn’t want to grant them the title of being “married”?  BOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!  I guess his rhetoric of attacking the trickle-down economics by saying that those without health insurance are “on their own” applies to gay and lesbian couples with a civil union.  Say they want to fill out tax forms or a census without risk of fraud, or to move their family to another state that doesn’t honor civil union contracts, or wish to dissolve their civil union but can’t……..according to Obama, gays and lesbians are unfortunately “on their own.”

We still have a long road to travel before the American public is more accepting of the GLBTQ community, and who will see through the insidious discrimination that is mandated by our government.  Atheists can get married in a civil court.  In Colorado, people only have to live together for a bit, wear wedding bands for a bit, call each other a husband and wife for a bit, and file a joint tax return to enjoy the benefits that come with a common-law marriage (which, by the way, is honored in all 50 states if this couple moves).  A couple can also petition the courts to dissolve their marriage in a “no-fault” divorce, and the court will honor that. 

I don’t see the public up in arms about this reality like they are about the term gay marriage.  I don’t see the public railing against divorce because marriage is so darn sacred.  I don’t see the public upset that two folks can co-habitate for a bit and fornicate their little hearts out because marriage is so darn sacred.  And YIKES……..atheists getting married?  But isn’t marriage sacred?

This isn’t about defining what is sacred and what isn’t.  That’s not the government’s job, and it doesn’t matter what I think or you think or what Joe Six Pack thinks.  We currently have a Buddha Bar in New York City, but how many of the religious are lobbying Congress to pass a Defense of Buddha Act in order to protect the sacredness of one of the Refuges?  The government must act in a secular tone in order to ensure the rights and liberties of all free citizens despite personal feelings or religious leanings.  Christians can still receive the sacrament of marriage in their church and call it sacred even if homosexuals are allowed to marry in a civil court.

It’s insane.  It’s maddening.  And the discrimination must stop now.

OK, so I’ve been a nag with our Center Director.  Sue me.

With new projects, a budget that is analyzed more by our new board, a new website under construction, and a press release (hopefully) coming soon,  I’ve been on the phone more often than usual.  But it’s all good.  Remembering that we’ve got that “girl energy” or “Tara energy” in full view is revitalizing, and so far we’re still enthusiastic about introducing more Dharma, more service, and more generosity to our local community.  Just because I love this bodhisattva so much, I’m going to let the almighty wiki talk about her some more for you:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tara_(Buddhist)

No cushions shall be made tonight.  There has been a sickness going around, and I am celebrating my daughter’s 10th birthday today.  I HAVE been working out the kinks on our zafu cushions, though, and I think I’m getting the technique better.  Hopefully, our members will soon enough have more options for our butts during meditation.

Ciao, y’all.

Love this with Sabra and Neil……dancing starts around 0:48.

Man, this takes me back to NYC, baby!  And speaking of which, since I had trained under Mia Michaels back in the mid ’90s, let’s show a bit of her choreography and a style which I’m more familiar with:

I HAVE to hand the crown to Biden.  He was absolutely magnificent.  Well-prepared.  Stuck to the facts and the issues, answered the questions well and countered Palin’s points, AND he came across as respectful of his opponent.

Here might be a good reason why he did this well: 

http://www.poconorecord.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20081002/NEWS/810020338/-1/rss01

Also, if I could give a kiss to Sen. Biden, I would for his comment here:

“It seems like the only people in the room that think that debating a woman is going to be fundamentally different are people who don’t hang around with smart women,” Biden said aboard his campaign plane.

YES!!  Fan-frickin’-tastic!!  And so true, too.  Well done, Senator.  *claps*

For now, I’m wanting to add a bit more to the problem young girls face when they become more aware of their adolescent bodies and their own sexuality.  Soon enough, I’d like to see how boys are given their due as well in the mass media since they are affected by images of the bulging pecs, the washboard abs, the broad shoulders, yadda yadda yadda.  But at this moment, this article last year on cnn.com reminded us why we still need to talk about it:

  http://www.cnn.com/2007/HEALTH/03/15/BK.girls.body.image/index.html

What I found refreshing was the idea to provide an antidote to our young girls’ delusions on what is sexy and what isn’t……and the antidote provided in the article was to have a strong father or male role model that recognizes the girls strengths that had nothing to do with how she looked in a swimsuit.  What I didn’t like was that girls will notice that yet another adult is ignoring her body and how it looks, and that the girl will continue to look for beauty standards somewhere else.

Moms are very guilty of this, too.  It’s something I’ve noticed in the mindsets of how to deal with the problem of teenaged girls and body image – and it amounts to swinging the pendulum wildly in the opposite direction where the body is never even discussed, and if it is, a girl is inundated with platitudes of how Hollywood stars and Barbie dolls are ruining body image every day.  This does nothing but leave body image in the abstract, and a young girl is still trying to discover exactly how she is beautiful. 

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a strong proponent of pointing out a girl’s strength in her mind, in her spirit, and in her goals and achievements.  However, we simply can’t brush aside letting her know how beautiful she looks because we are afraid of pressuring her into worrying about her looks.  Trust me, the girl is already worried about her looks.  She’s also worried about how smart she is, how if she has friends to have fun with and who like her, how her parents get along, and on and on.  Yes, we parents are totally neurotic with how we appear either too harsh or too overprotective…..but the answer isn’t to “refocus” our rhetoric into giving our daughters recognition in one area and not another.

She will read into it well, and realize that she’s STILL not considered a whole person in the eyes of her mentors.  She’s a brain and an achiever, but she’s not beautiful.  And that potentially can be just as devastating.

My daughter is turning 10 in less than a week, and she is starting to see how her hormones are leading her into the dawn of womanhood.  Right now, we’re just seeing the twilight just before the sun begins to peek through, but she has recently become a little modest about her body.  A few months ago, after helping her shop for her first bra, she was walking around the house with her arms wrapped around her chest.  I asked her why she was doing that, and she said that she didn’t want anybody looking at her breasts.  I didn’t panic, but said what came naturally to me as a Sacred Whore:

“I don’t know why, sweetheart.  I think they’re beautiful.  And they’re just as beautiful as everything else about you – your elbows, your eyes, and that really smart brain you have.  So go ahead and be proud of them.”

Her tension was gone after I said that, and she was in a better mood.  I haven’t seen her worry about her breasts since.  But I guess we’ll see if in 10 years she’s sitting on a therapists couch relaying how I ruined her life with a comment that made her feel pressured to have beautiful breasts.  LOL

You know - it’s just as silly trying to categorize a woman and a girl by a singular component in her brain as it is in a singular body part.  Nice rack?  Nice ass?  Nice teeth?  Or nice career?  Works with a team well?  Scores high on aptitude tests?  Jeez………when can we just say that she is beautiful – simply because she is confident and true to herself?

In my mind, there is nothing more attractive than a strong, confident woman who flaunts her stuff AND speaks her mind.  Not either/or….but both.  She mesmerizes with her eyes AND doesn’t shy away from giving her opinion.  This is what I want to introduce to young girls, and that is beauty is definitely in the eye of the beholder, and that it first comes from her own discerning eye.  I want to introduce to young girls and teens to pay NO attention to what others say – her peers, TV ads, or test scores.  Look in the mirror and decide how you’re physically beautiful and a bombshell, then show it without hesitation.  Look in the mirror and decide how you’re amazingly intelligent, and then show it without hesitation.  Look in the mirror and decide how you’re gifted and skilled, and then show it without hesitation.  Truthfully, I’d prefer to say that there is no time like the present to give a young girl the opportunity to discover every single part of her that is magnificent – and on her own terms and nobody else’s.

To this day, one of my favorite quotes is by Marianne Williamson, and I’ll let her do the talking from here on out today:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us, it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

And it sucks donkey balls, too! 

But, we are done with it, and realize a few mistakes that we made in the cutting, the piecing, and realizing that the zipper in the pattern will simply not accomodate the kind of stuffing we are wishing to use.  Therefore, we’re now just planning on taking the zipper out entirely and planning on using Febreze on the little fucker whenever it starts to smell funny.

Overall the zafu-style cushion feels great.  It just looks a little odd.  The top cover pleats because I think we miscalculated the seam.  It’s a little lumpy, too.  But otherwise, c’est magnifique!!

And, we went through another bottle of wine while gossiping about sex, drugs, and rock and roll again.  Fun, fun, fun!!

Girlfriend, if I could offer a toast for this occasion, plant a big kiss on your cheek, and yell out a “WHOOT!”, I would do so.  You bravely gave some much needed and sobering criticism of the Republican Vice-Presidential candidate Sarah Palin, whose conservative apologetic constituents have desperately tried to defend Palin’s strange media circus since her governor’s record and her sense of judgement has since been hotly debated. 

Kathleen Parker, if you don’t know, is a commentator for the National Review, a conservative publication.  It’s one thing as a woman to support women’s attempts to break through the glass ceiling.  It’s entirely another to openly admit that a particular woman isn’t simply fit for leadership.  I certainly feel that Palin is not fit for the Oval Office, but I think Parker adequately describes why.  She is authentic in her criticism and her call for Palin to step down in order to save the Republican party’s run to the White House this election year.

You can read her article here, and I believe it deserves your full attention:  http://article.nationalreview.com/?q=MDZiMDhjYTU1NmI5Y2MwZjg2MWNiMWMyYTUxZDkwNTE=

From Season One of So You Think You Can Dance, I can’t help but revisit this occasionally when I want a visual pick-me-up:

Moving on from pt. 1…..

So you’re ready to go.  You got your webcam (or not) and you found a good community that you feel has some potential for like-minded individuals to meet and possibly get it on with.  A few things to think about specifically:

1)  Don’t think that the curtain of anonymity on the ‘net gives you a free pass for a cyber-horizontal-bop the minute you meet someone.  So, you start chatting with someone, she gives you her measurements and tells you what she’s wearing and that she’s already hot and wet…..sound likely?  Of course not.  This is the stuff of fantasy phone sex, and you can pay for that if you want.  But if you’re looking for something more organic, don’t look at the ‘net as an opportunity to use it as a way to objectify your potential partner.  That’s about as realistic as walking up to a nice-looking woman in a bar or a nightclub, asking her name first, and then asking if you could do her second.  999,999 times out of a million, you’re going to get slapped/banned.  So, develop a conversation and find out some common interests.  Sex is always much better in real life when you actually get along, correct?

2)  Keep the directions to an absolute minimum.  Don’t tell her to touch herself at one moment and to lick her fingers the next.  Let your partner decide what to do with his or her body.  And on that note, whatever you’re doing with your own mind and with your own hands is something that you describe and share with your partner – not what you can manipulate them into doing.  Think about this for a minute – cyber sex generally follows the rules of real life with the reality being that there is no sharing of emissions, eh?  But mentally and emotionally and visually, it can be as “real” as you make it.  And good sex happens when both partners allow themselves to be vulnerable.  If there is an element of dominance/submission in your encounters, be absolutely sure that you follow the same rules as you would in real life.  Have a “safe” word.  Ensure that there is complete trust between you two before anyone starts allowing themselves to be directed.  As you can tell, now you realize just how important point #1 really is….

3)  Cyber-love can and does happen.  If both partners return to each other time after time, and if the cyber sex is descriptive and hot, and there are loads of common interests between you two……it follows that this chemistry might produce feelings of romantic love.  I always say, “enjoy the ride.”  And this is where the practice of being aware of the suffering caused by attachment and craving can really help.  Despite the fact that the Second Noble Truth is applicable to real-life relationships, it can be easily forgotten in cyber-world, where one can be fooled by the notion that the ‘net can be one’s escape from reality.  Perservere with the awareness that any relationship on the ‘net can be just as wonderful and fun and vulnerable and mistaken as any relationship away from the computer. 

With that in mind, should you choose to continue, you’ll find some surprises along the way.  You’ll also discover your own specific tastes and turn-offs in the cyber-world.  And you’ll likely come across a point that I’ve overlooked.   I like to remember the first time I engaged in a cyber romance after I left my first husband, and I was quite a novice several years ago, I think about what my wise aunt once advised about it in a surfing metaphor:  just ride the wave, sweetheart.

I have a free night tonight, it’s my time and it’s for me only, and I get to do whatever I want.

Sometimes, I love getting together with girlfriends for dinner and drinks, and maybe a comedy club or a wine bar later on.  Sometimes, I love to go to the show or the movies.  But right now, I just want to immerse myself in shelf after shelf of books at our local Borders bookstore. 

I’ll be getting some coffee first (White Chocolate Mocha, please), and walking around in as many sections as possible.  From crafts, to DIY home improvement, to metaphysical topics and speculative UFO and consipracy books, to right-wing and left-wing political talking heads, to Native American history, to gay/lesbian fiction, to romance novelists, to self-help, to religion/philosophy, and to economics/marketing/money management.  I am so far realizing my karma as someone who is so attached to acquiring information in print form.  And tonight, I am soooo indulging in that attachment, too.

Financially, it probably is better if I would use my library card more often (I do have one in my purse!).  I guess once the library starts serving coffee, then I’ll be more motivated to go there.  But until then, it’s Borders or Barnes and Noble for me.

Maybe I’ll hit them both tonight.  Go Thalia!!!